The World That Never Was (Kingdom Hearts II)

Various types of Nobodies are behind Marvin, Maurice, and Mongo.

Max: Oh well! See you in hell, jerkbags! *flees with Sam.*

Mongo: We've been tricked! Damn!!

Maurice: I'M GONNA SLIT THEIR THROATS OFF!!

Marvin: I don't believe this!

*THe Nobodies beat up and knocked out the Minjo Mafia. Meanwhile, Sam and Max run into the organization building.*

Sam: Well whaddya know! This building we just came in seems to be estinquished.

Max: Does that mean I can break stuff?

Sam: Not yet, pal. We don't know who's place is this.

Max: I hope it's Nina Myers! I dig her and her ugly dress she wore last Christmas!

Sam: You crack me up, little buddy.

Nobodies surround Sam and Max.

Max: Say, nice hoodies, fellas.

*The front door is closed. Sam and Max can't get out!!*

Max: Awww!

Sam: Looks like we're dealing with a squad of merciless assassins. And they're trying to take us down.

Max: Big deal. I like to see them try.

Sam: Alright, but you asked for it. *whips out his gun and shoot the Nobodies*

Max: I knew shooting live chickens would pay off. Hey Sam, what happened to the mafia that tried to kill us?

Sam: Well, they're knocked out.

Max: Ah, alright. *tries to open a locked door, but..* LOCKED?!

Sam: Uh oh.

Max: WE'RE LOCKED IN!! AAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!

Sam: There has to be a good explaination about this!

Xaldin walks into the room.
Xaldin: MORE intruders?

Max: MORE cloaked geeks?!

Xaldin: I believe I'm the first one you've met here.

Max: We met your white cloaked friends before.

Sam: If they're one of your party animals, then you're dealing with Sam & Max: Freelance Police.

Max: And since it's one of your friends, you're going to get your ass kicked in the process.

Xaldin: No, I won't.
Xaldin's lances appear in his hands.

Sam: Shouldn't we resort this in a non violent way?

Xaldin: You could by leaving.

Sam: But that's what quitters do. And we are not leaving until we take you to prison for assaulting the Freelance Police.

Xaldin: Your authority does not apply here.

Max: So does your silly sword dancing routine.

Sam: Max can dance into anything with weapons, like lightsabres, axes, morning stars, and even rotten apples.

Max: Don't forget firecrackers.

Xaldin: What does that have to do with what I just said?

Max: I look up the picture of you dancing with swords on Google.

Sam: He even makes up his own--

Dusk: *whispers to Xaldin* Hey, let's make them our servants for now. We could track Roxas down and destroy him.

Sam: I can hear you.

Dusk: *points at Sam.* Shut up.

Two Dusk Nobodies remove Sam and Max's hearts.

*Sam is turned into a Heartless, but for Max, the only way to make him a Heartless is removing his pancreas.*

One of the Dusk Nobodies removes Max's pancreas.

*NOW Max is a Heartless Rabbity Thing. *shot**

Sam: *blinks twice* That's odd. I didn't feel a thing, do you Max-- Sweet sunfish chips dipped in a real expired sun lotion!! We're turning into ghastly-like mutants!

Max: I think I just lost a few pounds when I'm like that, Sam.

Sam: *angry at Xaldin* You scoundrel! Give me back my heart!

Max: And my beloved pancreas! It's my favorite body organ.

Xaldin: You should both be losing your intelligence due to being Heartless.

Max: Guess I'll be going back to kindergarden anyway. I miss beating up the snot nosed brats anyway.

Sam: Well Max, due to some silly plothole, our author wanted us to be a bit intelligent.. But, if that's what he said, we'll go along with it.

Max: Whatever you say, Sam. *walks into the wall and keeps moving, with no luck of moving it.*

*The front door is unlocked.*

Sam: *walks through the front door with Max.* Suddenly, I have the urge to steal hearts from enemies.

Max: Let's start with the mafia first, Sam!

*The Minjo Mafia wakes up after a beat down.*

Mongo: Damn those Freelance Police.

Maurice: I'LL SLICE THEM UP GOOD!

Marvin: This is going to make Don Minjo furious-- Oh my god!

Sam: Hello, mafia.

Max: Did you guys miss us?

Mongo: No, but you'll be dead you miserable dog and rabbity thing!! DIE!! *shoots them, but no effect.* What?! Nothing??

Sam: Sic'em, little buddy.

*Max lunges towards the mafia and steal their hearts, making them heartless.*

Marvin: Oh, son of a b!tch!! We're now like them!! Mongo, this is all your fault!!!

Mongo: My fault?! You're the one who picked this place.

*The Heartless Mafia beat themselves up as Sam and Max: "Freelance Heartless" chuckles at them.*

Sam: Guess I kinda enjoyed being like this. I think we'll be like this for awhile.

*Sam and Max leaves the topic.*

E. Nigma shakes his head since he appeared to be in heck of a day-dream.

E. Nigma: Huh, whu... oh, right. *Sees the 'minion'* ... When did I ever get unregistered minions?