CRYPTIDSAREREAL.COM idiots

No they aren't!

And I'm the judge!

OBJECTION!

Just because my computer sucks doesn't mean that they're innocent!

The Judge thinks they aren't innocent! Thus they aren't! CASE CLOSED.

OBJECTION!

The case is still open, we just need a new witness.

ok heres more evidence



I'm pretty sure thats just juice

by enhanced do they mean "added in"?

OBJECTION!

That has nothing to do with wether they are brainwashing people! And how do we know those came from that site.

look for yourself

OBJECTION!

The judge can't be a witness!

i hereby declare i can now shut up before i hold you in contempt

Know what the best part of this whole thing is, TUZL? *drinks coffee and points at you with the empty mug*

It was your witness! I haven't had to do a thing and yet I'm winning!

OBJECTION!

None of them are actually proving that the site brainwashes people, which is the real reason for this trial!

OBJECTION!

Really? I'd say it's obvious. How many people must work on that site? Since they work on it, it's safe to say they believe in what the site is saying! I charge that this site ergo is guilty of brainwashing themselves with this insanity!

OBJECTION!

Can you prove this? *Sticks out hand, a bottle of soda slides into hand, then takes a sip* Show me a victim of the brainwashing!

CRYPTIDS ARE REAL!

Right there!

*points at Pointless Communist with mug of coffee*

four more posts and Godot is 1337

OBJECTION!

How do we know he is brainwashed? *Takes another sip of the soda*

OBJECTION!

How many not brainwashed people do you know that believe in Cryptids!? They're so fake, my spellchecker says it's a spelling mistake! It accepts Godot, Lamont, Psi Guy, and Beta Karasz2 for coffee's sake!

OBJECTION!

What could they possibly gain from brainwashing people?

OBJECTION!

Now, I'll admit this was a hard question. I wanted proof before I made my claim. Luckily, I have evidence, evidence your own client provided!

If you would look at the actual website, click on the 'Secret Document' that they reportedly found.

First, let's look at the contents of the 'Document'.

It addresses this thing it claims to be about as two things.

Tall Hairy Thing With Glowing Red Eyes
Phantom

Really? A phantom? A ghostly ape is haunting Nottinghamshire? I don't think so!
And it also seems to imply the creature is an alien, with mention of an airship vector.

Now, let's look at the implausibility of the events in the 'Document'.

Two people a 'Doc' and 'Drew' rescued this thing. I suppose. Maybe the Alien Ghost Ape was in danger of being attacked. It's as plausible as the rest of this trite.

But then it went away, and it mentions that they're calculating the Airship's vector. Which means they don't want it gone, but why didn't 'Doc and 'Drew' do anything? And how did they get fur samples? And it matches a 'cryptid database?

That's total bull. First, cryptids are fake, a point you seem to have concedes. Second, even if they are real, I fail to see how they need to be in a 'Top Secret' document 'For Your Eyes Only'. Maybe, MAYBE in the case of the Ghostly Ape from Mars, but Bigfoot? Nessy? No government agency with such high levels of security would care whether or not they were real. Ever!

And how the heck did a Top Secret Document:

A: Get so wrinkled. It's not something you stick in your pocket!
B: Get fingerprint dust on it. I think the FBI stopped using that a long time ago. Something about it potentially wrecking fingerprints.
C: GET IN THE HANDS OF SOME NUT-JOB WHO BELIEVES IN CRYPTIDS!?

So, what their motive? Simple, dear Psi Guy. They want people to believe their government is so inept as to not see the flaws I noted in red, and see it as a viable document, and see it as something needing such high secrecy.

I hereby accuse the makers of this 'website' as being members of the Independent political Party!

It's simple, really. Tired of their candidates always seen as stealing votes from Democrats and Republicans, and not as actual candidates for anything, they set up this 'website' to host this 'document' in an attempt to kill confidence in both parties in order to someday get an Independent in the White House as President of the USA! And luckily, their plot was discovered with a few mere months before the election! By me!

I actually got bored halfway through reading the document, BUT CRYPTIDS ARE STILL REAL!

OBJECTION!

I had a hard time understanding that. Anyway, the true point of this case is figuring out if they are brainwashing people or not. And not one piece of evidence presented proves that they have been brainwashed. It's true my clients are idiots. But would idiots be able to find a way to brainwash people?

CRYPTIDS ARE REAL!

Indeed.*pats on back* Keep believing in the De Loys' Monkey, Zec. Keep believing.