NC Land (Neglected Mario Characters Comix)

A warped version of the Mario world where almost everyone's either insane or stupid, and anything can happen. Try to avoid losing your sanity here.

*Sarina, Hal, and Jeff came.*

Hal: What? But this place is ripping us off!

Jeff: And look at this. This place isn't that beautiful. It's all done by a two-year old who loves MSPaint.

Sarina: At least we're in a safe place now.

Fred and Bill appear by the trio.

Sarina: Hey! It's the villagers!

Jeff: A bug and his pet bird? Is it just me, or is the cycle of life went haywire?

Fred and Bill turn towards the trio.
Bill: Hey, I'm not Fred's pet! In fact, it's the other way around!
Fred: Yeah, that's ri-HEY! DEATH RAY!
Fred shoots a beam out at Bill, who quickly dodges.
Bill: Jeez, Fred! I was just kidding!...Not.
Fred: Oh, okay. Wait, did you say something?
Bill: Nope. Anyway, who are you three?

Sarina: Well, we're not from around here. We're just tourists. My name is Sarina, and this is Hal and Jeff.

Hal: They even call me the ladies man.

Jeff: I thought you were gay.

Hal: Hey, screw you! I thought we were done with that!

Jeff: Ok, think of some good words that make you straight.

Hal: Boobies.

Jeff: That's one good reason.

Hal: Where are we anyway? And this scenery is not that good. The house is more like Arfenhouse's. Everything doesn't make sense here.

Bill: You're in NC Land, home of all Neglected Mario Characters! And we were started back in 1997. MS Paint was cool back then.

Sarina: Yeah! Do you know that people use MSPaint for pixel art too--

*An Alaskan Bull Worm squirms into the topic and devours the fruit trees. It leaves the topic.*

Sarina: WHAT WAS THAT??

Hal: A giant worm?

Jeff: Now there's something you don't see everyday.

Fred: Actually, we saw a three-headed one the other day.

Hal: A three-headed one?!

Fred: Yeah, and it was also doing the macarena! Dr. Donez taped it all!

Hal: Who the hell is Dr. Donez?

...

Hal: What the @#$% did the camera point at him instead of us? He's not even here with us.

Bill: Seeing as how this isn't a comic, you have to say his name in large font. Annoying, but it's good enough.

Hal: Annoying?! Of course it's annoying! Urgh, I hate him already.

Sarina: What do you two do around here?

Jeff: I bet you two hate Mario as much as we do, huh?

Sarina: But I like him.

Jeff: I didn't mean you. When I said, "we", I mean't Hal and I.

Bill: Actually, yeah, we do pretty much hate him. He's either an idiot or calling himself "Citrus Man".

Hal: Citrus Man?

Bill: Yeah, he sometimes goes insane and claims he's the "Defender of All That's Good and Lemony" or something. We just try to ignore him.

*Sarina, Hal, and Jeff laughed.*

Hal: I gotta tell this to Inaudible Thwomp and the others! And I swear, he's going to be a public laughing stock once we video tape that.

Jeff: Best. Thing. Ever.

*Meanwhile, away from the group, Black Lums are spawning. They're forming into Hoodlums.*

Bill: Shouldn't you actually get a video of Citrus Man himself in action?
Meanwhile, Captain Churro runs up to the Hoodlums.
Captain Churro: Hi!

Hal: In a word, yes.

--

*A Hoodblaster points his shotgun at Churro.*

Fred: But we haven't seen that stupid plumber in forever.
Meanwhile...
Captain Churro: Hi!

Sarina: What I know of that he and his brother are trying to rescue the princess from Bowser.

--

*The Hoodblaster blasts Captain Churro.*

Bill: What? He's actually doing something competent?
Meanwhile, Captain Churro is apparently vaporized. But he then falls onto the Hoodlum's head.
Captain Churro: Hi!

Sarina: Yes! And he doesn't want the Princess to be married by a brute.

--

Hoodblaster: WHUH??!! O_O;; *shoots Churro, but accidently shot his head off.*

Fred: Meh. He's probably hiding his stupidity.
Meanwhile, Captain Churro jumps off of the Hoodlum's headless corpse and turns to the other Hoodlums.
Captain Churro: Are you guys here for tea? Wait, what's tea again?