Armacham Technology Corporation (F.E.A.R.)

Jack Bauer leaps out of nowhere.
Jack Bauer: TELL ME WHERE THE ROBOTS ARE BEFORE I SHOOT YOU IN THE KNEE!
Jack Bauer spontaneously combusts.

Bark looks around the room.

Several barrels of oil are in the room, which is otherwise empty and has one door at the other end.

Bean and Bark go through the door.

They enter another room filled with oil barrels. One suddenly falls over, spilling oil on the floor. The rest also start to tip over.

Bean: OOH! First chili sauce, then water, and now chocolate sauce! How can this day get any better?

Voice: easy one.
The oil bursts into flames, covering the two rooms in... well, fire.

Bark picks up Bean and starts looking for another exit.

A door with the word "Exit" above it is in the room, but a wall of fire blocks it.

Bean: IT'S BEAN'S TIME TO SHINE!
Bean spits a stream of water all over the fire.

The water slowly starts shrinking.

Bean stops spitting out the water.
Bean: CURSES! PHYSICS HAVE FOILED ME ONCE MORE!
Bark looks around for something that can help.

OOC: Whoops. I meant to say "fire".

IC:

The wall of fire suddenly disappears.

Bean and Bark run through the exit.

Just as they do, the sprinklers in the room turn on. The sign did not lie, and Bean and Bark are now out in the cold.

Bean and Bark walk around outside, shivering.

Several Replica Soldiers armed with various powerful weapons march out of the facility through the front door, escorted by some Assassin models, some Heavy Armors, and a REV6.

Bean runs up to the various things.
Bean: YOU PIRATES RUN A TERRIBLE HOTEL HERE! YOU'LL BE HEARING FROM MY LAWYER!

The Heavy Armor aims a flamethrower attached to its right arm at Bean and fires, setting the duck on fire.

Bean runs around, though it appears that he's happy.
Bean: FROM THIS DAY ON, I AM THE NOT-SO-HUMAN TORCH!

The Heavy Armor says... something in confusion, though it's hard to tell with the voice being garbled under the armor.

Bark walks up to Bean and pours a bucket of water on him, putting out the fire. He then drags Bean towards the topic exit as Bean waves towards the various things.
Bean: BYE, PIRATES! I'LL NEVER FORGET YOU ALL! And did I mention we're mercenaries? Call us if you ever need someone killed and such!

The assorted troops march out of the topic, along with Paxton.

Bark finishes dragging Bean out of the topic.

Paxton and most of his army reenter the topic as Alma leaves.